Finding Balance in San Francisco

10 declarations of love

Society deems today the day to celebrate courtly love, but some of my husband's friends from New Jersey decided to get married on this very day... and my romantic partner is across the country tonight, celebrating with a wedding full of people I don't know. 

So Valentine's Day 2009 for me is going to be celebrated unconventionally... with 2 sweet young boys, a middle-aged Black Lab (Shasta) and some relatively new fish.  There must be at least 10 things I love about my 2009 Valentine's companions. 

I'd like to a moment to express some non-courtly love today:

1. I love it when Shasta sleeps on the comforter over my spot in the bed and warms it up for me, especially on cold nights.  It's so nice to slip under the covers and have my little place all nice and pre-heated.
2. I love the genuine, pure hugs my boys give me.  Sometimes when I hug adults it feels awkward and/or forced, all arms and elbows and space between us... but with the boys it's almost like they melt right into me.  It's so natural.
   
3. I love watching my boys sleep.  They look so warm and lovely and innocent.
4. I love it when Shasta stretches herself all the way out, so she makes her 80 pound body as long as it can be.  She just looks so relaxed and peaceful and Zen.  She's stretched out in front of the fire at the moment, the reflection of the flames illuminating her shiny black fur.
5. I love how enthusiastically our fish act in the morning when I turn on the light over their tank.  I know in my head that it's just because of the prospect of food,but in my heart it really feels like they're actually happy to see me.
6. I love seeing Quinn's eyes light up when he sees me there to pick him up at the end of the school day.  It makes me feel special and loved.
7. I love the sound of my boys' laughter.  It practically sparkles.
   
8. I love it when Jordan and Quinn say 'please' and 'thank you.'  It makes me feel successful as a parent.
9. I love it when Shasta is tired out at the end of a swim or walk or fetching session.  She looks like she's really put her all into it, and there's something deeply satisfying about seeing her get to makeuse of that boundless energy of hers.
10. I loved it this morning when Quinn and Jordan and Shasta all came to wake me up at once.  I had actually woken up about a minute before and was missing Ryan, and when they came flooding in with affection it made me feel all warm and glowy.

Here's a tip of the hat to the non-romantic kind of love.  If you're not with the one you love, love the ones you're with!

Just say no to forcible divorce

A friend of mine just sent me a heartbreaking email and asked that I pass it on, so I'm posting it here.

Have you heard that Ken Starr -- and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund -- filed legal briefs defending the constitutionality of Prop 8 and attempting to forcibly divorce 18,000 same-sex couples that were married in California last year? The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in this case on March 5, with a decision expected within 90 days.

The Courage Campaign has created a video called "Fidelity," with the permission of musician Regina Spektor, that puts a face to those 18,000 couples and all loving, committed couples seeking full equality under the law.

Please watch this heartbreaking video now. If you have the same reaction that I did, please help me spread the word by sharing it with your friends and family ASAP:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/Divorce

The more people who see this video, the more people will understand the pain caused by Prop 8 and Ken Starr's shameful legal proceeding.

After you watch the video, please join me and over 150,000 people who have signed a letter to the state Supreme Court, asking them to invalidate Prop 8 and reject Starr's case.

Thanks.

Modern Art, with pre-schoolers

we just got back from a trip to the SFMOMA with the boys

on the top floor, there were a lot of interactive things for the boys to touch and be a part of

both indoors and out

I had a good time, and the boys did, too

The most challenging part of the visit was dragging Jordan out of there.    Jordan and I spent about 20 minutes in front of Magritte's 1952 "Personal Values" piece...

Jordan selected a spot on the floor directly in front of Personal Values to take off his shoes, sit and lie on the floor and play a power struggle game with me. 

As far as power struggles to, this one was relatively pleasant and free of screaming or crying... in between trying to gently coax Jordan into putting his shoes back on and talking about how all of the other patrons in the museum were wearing their shoes, he and I talked extensively about the pink match with the yellow top in the painting. 

Magritte is one of my favorite artists, and I was secretly pleased that Jordan selected that painting to have a power struggle in front of.  I liked the appropriateness of the painting playing with size and perspective and pint-sized Jordan looking up at Personal Values from the floor.  In particular, it amused me that Jordan decided to put just his shoes on the other side of the line that's designed to keep people an appropriate distance from the painting.  It's the juxtaposition of ordinary objects into an unusual context, I thought, and I hoped that Magritte would have found the humor in 2 year old Jordan's shoes on the other side of the line in front of his painting, too.

I must remember to tell Jordan about his first experience with Personal Values when he's older. 

13 Most Beautiful... a fun, artsy SFFS event

Last night I went to 13 Most Beautiful... Songs for Andy Warhol's Screen Tests at the Palace of Fine Arts Theatre.

The concept of the show is relatively simple: display 13 of Andy Warhol's black and white "screen tests" on a huge screen overhanging a stage, accompanied by live music from Dean and Britta.

Andy Warhol took the screen tests at his hip and famous Factory back in the 1960s. Each screen test is 4 minutes long and is accompanied by a song. Most of the songs were written by Dean and Britta, but they did a couple covers as well (Dylan, Velvet Underground). Read this NYT Music Review for additional details about the show. This illicit photo, complete with a shot of Edie Sedgwick's screen test, taken with my iPhone:

In addition to Sedgwick, there were screen tests for Dennis Hopper, Lou Reed, Nico, Jane Holzer and other Warhol Superstars.

The show was entertaining and different, and I was interested in my own reactions to it. I found it difficult to just watch someone's huge face up there on the big screen without any dialogue, plot or real action (unless you want to consider gum chewing or tooth brushing "action") for four minutes straight. The music was quite ethereal and soothing, so that was a nice counterpoint to the strange uncomfortableness of the video experience. I noticed that I kept crossing and uncrossing my legs, and shifting my gaze from the screen to the musicians to people in the Theatre.

And the Theatre attendees provided great people watching indeed. I felt very artsy and secretly wished that I had chunky, dark-rimmed glasses on so I could look like a cineatse- or at least a film student. At least I had fun, funky boots on. The Theatre itself is also lovely. Built in 1970, it's a 1,000 very comfortable seats and has been the site of concerts from Eartha Kitt to Van Morrison as well as Presidential Debates and of course the San Francisco International Film Festival. Very nice venue.

But back to the show... one of the things that I found striking was that all of the young, hip ingenues, models, musicians and actors are now old or dead. Edie Sedgwick

looked so innocent and sweet with her slightly parted lips that I just wanted to hug her. Hard to believe that she's been dead for almost as long as I've been alive. "Baby" Jane Holzer

gave about the sexiest tooth brushing sequence I can imagine. Speaking of imagine, watching her gorgeous 1960s self up there on the screen I could scarcely imagine her as a mature woman in her 60s. The Internet, of course, was a quick cure for that. Ah, well... the ravages of age.

So nice that Warhol was able to freeze these 13 Most Beautiful in the dewy bloom of youth. In the spirit of blooming youth, here's a YouTube video of Edie and Jane to leave you with:

Ledbetter follow-up from Pelosi

I just got the email below from Nancy Pelosi.  Makes me happy and feel connected when our representatives in government do a little follow-through.  I'm also very pleased that Ledbetter was the very first piece of legislation that Obama signed into law.  Fittingly symbolic.

February 2, 2009

Dear Ms. Hassanein:

Thank you for contacting me to express your views on H.R. 11/S.181, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009, and H.R. 12, the Paycheck Fairness Act.  I appreciate hearing from you on this important issue. 

H.R. 11, introduced by Representative George Miller (D-CA), will restore the law as it was prior to the 2007 Supreme Court decision in Ledbetter v. Goodyear Tire & Rubber Company.  It will amend the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to state that each paycheck that results from a discriminatory decision is itself a discriminatory act that resets the clock on the 180-day period within which a worker must file.  On January 9, 2009, H.R. 11 passed in the House of Representatives by a vote of 247-171.  S. 181, introduced by Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD), passed in the Senate on January 22nd by a vote of 61-36.  On January 27th, the House passed S.181 by a vote of 250-177.  On January 29th, I was proud to be present at the White House as the first woman Speaker of the House as the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009 became the first bill President Obama signed since taking office. 

H.R. 12, introduced by Representative Rosa L. DeLauro (D-CT), amends the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938, or the Equal Pay Act, to revise the remedies for, enforcement of, and exceptions to prohibitions against sex discrimination in the payment of wages.  It also amends the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to direct the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission to collect pay information data regarding the sex, race and national origin of employees from employers for use in the enforcement of federal laws prohibiting pay discrimination.  On January 9th, H.R. 12 passed in the House of Representatives by a vote of 256-163.  No further action has been taken. 

I was proud to vote for both of these important pieces of legislation and I was pleased to make this the first legislative victory of the 111th Congress because it is not only so important to women, but to all Americans. Pay equity and fairness in the workplace are our priorities. I am proud that we had a big, strong vote in Congress, so the message will go out that this Congress has heard the message of change in the election, that this Congress knows the needs of America's women, that this Congress is prepared to act relevant to the concerns of America's working families. 

Thank you again for contacting me on this important legislation.  I hope you will continue to communicate with me on matters of concern to you.  For more information on this and other issues, please visit my website at www.house.gov/pelosi or sign up to receive e-mail updates at www.house.gov/pelosi/IMA/subscription.html. 

Sincerely,

Nancy Pelosi
Member of Congress