Finding Balance in San Francisco

Odds and ends

Sometimes life's going by so fast it's hard to keep track of the moments and memories. Here are a few of our odds and ends.

From YMCA Healthy Kids Day:

Hula Hooping, with the lovely Miss Clara from kathy hassanein on Vimeo.

Healthy Kids Day- bike course from kathy hassanein on Vimeo.

The boys with my cousin's dog, Eagan:

Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon:

The Hamilton Family Center 25th Anniversary celebration and presentation to Speaker Nancy Pelosi of the Poverty Prevention Award June 3rd at the von Bothmer's beautiful home in Pacific Heights:

Here's my big moment to get a shot with Speaker Pelosi... alas, sometimes it just doesn't work out.

Quinn's graduation-inspired artwork- it reads:

My name is Quinn. I am 5 years old. I like to play. I do not like to loose.

And one sweet morning in May:

Is Work/Life Balance Really Possible With Kids?

Spring break was nearly killing me already.

I'd been limping toward today, Thursday, because both kids were all set to go to Kids Outdoor Club all day. I was on it- had a carpool set up, coordinated to have friends for the boys to hang out with at KOC, thought I had organized everything to give the kids a fun and beneficial day outdoors and me some space to finally focus on all the work that's been piling up.

Then yesterday evening, after taking the day off of work to facilitate a nearly 5 hour "special adventure" to the California Academy of Sciences, our 5 year old came down with a fever + a mysterious bump on his neck the size of a small egg. I gave him some Children's Tylenol and put him to bed earlyish, hoping fervently that it would all go away- but then at 5am he was at the side of my bed with an even more intense fever, and my day to focus on work was officially obliterated.

Instead of time and space to get my work done, we spent the entire morning at the pediatrician's office, always a good time. We kicked off the visit fighting through the administrative hassle of the doctor having made the appointment in the wrong brother's name (should have been Quinn, not Jordan), then ramped up the anxiety level by giving Quinn a much-dreaded shot (this after me swearing up and down that there would be no shots), and to top it off, waiting 45 minutes to get an antibiotic that may or may not work. The mysterious bump? The doctor is as perplexed as I am- the shot and antibiotic are just guesses.

We needed the game-changing sickness like a hole in the head. 

These kinds of things can't help but make me a less productive and less reliable worker, pains me to say it but there's no way around it. In my professional life, one of the things I'm working on is a plan relating to a women-owned law firm. One of their goals is to insert their spokespeople into the current discussions taking place in the media about work/life balance and the flexibility to care for family members without experiencing fall-0ut at work. 

Creative mechanisms to help increase workplace flexibility and corresponding productivity is a hot topic right now- just yesterday the White House hosted a Forum on Workplace Flexibility- a much needed and long overdue discussion.

But I can't help but wonder: what kind of government program could help with a situation like the one I'm facing today? If a kid is sick, you can't bring him to any sort of institutional daycare setting because he'd potentially infect other people. You can't even send over a nurse or babysitter to the home for the same reason. Even if it hadn't been spring break, someone would have had to take him to the doctor and then stay home with him- and just like that, the rug gets pulled out from under that someone. In our family, that someone is invariably me, and the direct result is that work suffers, and the mommy slacker stereotype is perpetuated.

I just don't see an easy "fix" for childcare problems arising from illness. Of course, there are host of other things that could be fixed (e.g., better maternity/paternity policies, tax incentives for companies that have open and flexibile work policies, non-sick childcare), so I'm not saying that the discussion isn't full of merit. Just that there's going to be an inevitable hole in it for garden variety illness.

It will be interesting indeed to see what comes out of this week's Forum on Workplace Flexibility. In the meanwhile, I'll just keep my fingers crossed that tomorrow my son is all better. Hopefully that bump and fever will just disappear and I can send the boys outdoors for the day and get back to work.

Dr. Martin Luther King, for children

My kids know that today is a holiday, and that we're celebrating Dr. Martin Luther King, and that he was a man "who tried to change the Earth" who was killed with a gun by a bad guy- but I'm not sure how much more they understand.

It's a conundrum because my 5 and 3 year olds don't naturally categorize people by race- as a matter of fact, they still don't really understand race. I've tried to explain lighter skin and darker skin, but since they genuinely and thoroughly don't judge people by the color of their skin, I don't want to somehow encourage racism... you know what they say about things that ain't broke.

So when our 5 year old asked this morning to teach him about Dr. "Marthen Luces King" I stuck with statements like "great man," "great American" and "tried to teach people not to feel the hate." The "feel the hate" is a Star Wars reference that I knew they'd understand at least in part. Maybe not the purest, most straightforward way to explain it, but I'm still not sure how beneficial destroying their race innocence is at this point.

So we went to the computer and looked up "Martin Luther King Jr. for children" and came up with this site. They had some good ideas, and we wound up watching the entire "I have a dream" speech on You Tube. Our 3 year old exclaimed "he was a great speaker!" and then sadly asked why the bad guy (that shot him) hated him so much. The only distracting thing was the "My Date With a Blow-Up Doll" video inconveniently placed right next to the I have a dream video- geesh.

As a ceremony, we decided to sing the national anthem and hang up the American flag in our living room. If it will ever stop pelting rain, maybe we'll go see the Martin Luther King Jr. waterfall over at the Yerba Buena center near SF MoMa. According to SF Gate, they'rebroadcasting the I have a dream speech there at 12, 1 and 2pm. Sounds like a good idea, but it's still raining cats and dogs, greatly diminishing my enthusiasm for that activity. I'd love to hear what other people do to honor Dr. King and explain his life's work to children.

I guess the best tribute we can give is to try to make Dr. King's dream come true by fostering an environment for our children that encourages patience, tolerance and freedom from hate.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

Batman and the Sunrise

Much to the boys' delight, it recently rained here in San Francisco. This gave our boys and excellent opportunity to don their new Batman raincoats (complete with capes). Here they are, posing, on our back deck:

At the end of that day, Quinn said "the trick with these boots is that you have to walk on your toes."  Upon further questioning and examination, turns out the boots are 2 sizes too small. Quinn's take: "wherever I go, wherever my heels hurt."  Santa may need to bring some new rain boots for the Mighty Quinn.

On another note (but also on our back deck), since the time change we've been waking up with the sun most mornings.  Walking out onto the back deck to see the sunrise has developed into a lovely morning ritual- a refreshing and inspiring way to start the day. 

And lastly, welcome home to my cousin Adam, who is a medic in the military and who has been over in Afghanistan. It's been a brutal past couple of months, with his unit losing several men. We are all so very proud of him and relieved to have him back home, if only for a few weeks. Adam's on the left in the photo below:

We think and pray for you often, Adam.  Thank you for your service to our country.

Bloggers beware- new FTC rules

Yesterday, the FTC published final changes to its Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising, specifically addressing paid bloggers and paid-per-Tweet services. 

Companies, bloggers and other "word of mouth" marketers must disclose any "material connections" (e.g., payments, receipt of merchandise, receipt of service) to consumers.  Because "paid endorsement" is no longer just cash, it might be easy to find yourself afoul of the new rules.

So just beware that if you're blogging or Tweeting and you've received something in return (even free drinks), you may need to disclose that in order to stay in the clear.  These rules are new and will need to be worked through, but someone is going to be made an example of by the regulators. 

 

Hopefully that somebody isn't you.